The Un-Budget

I am middle class. Therefore, I need to budget.
So, I start by listening to Dave Ramsey on the radio.
By the end of the radio show, I feel like the most worthless irresponsible piece of trash out there. Because I'm no Dave Ramsey.  And I won't be paying off my mortgage for another 28 years.

So, I figure, the least I can do is make a budget. I get paid once a month, on the first, so days 1-15 are pretty good. Days 16-30... well, lets just say we don't buy much. 

My first budgeting attempt was several years ago and I was astonished to learn that me, my husband, and my then one-year-old had spent nearly $600 in one month on eating out.  So, since then, I have been making these budgets on spreadsheets. They are beautiful. Color coded, fancy formulas, etc.  Days 1-5 of the month I do pretty well, entering in each purchase on my spreadsheet and applauding myself for our budgeting skills. Then, I forget to enter in some purchases. When I finally do, around day 10, I run out of lines on the spreadsheet and it no longer prints nicely to one page.  I get depressed, stop budgeting, and we overspend like usual.

What's the saying about doing the same thing over and over again and it doesn't work, but I just keep doing it?  Anyway...

To combat this endless losing streak, I have decided this month to use the un-budget. Basically, it's a set of rules I have created to limit spending without beating my head off the keyboard trying to keep up with a spreadsheet.

Here we go.

THE UN-BUDGET:

• Only buy grocery store items when they are on sale. Unless it is an urgent need, like toilet paper.  Throughout the course of the month, most items go on sale. So, when they are cheaper, buy more. Duh.
• No eating out for lunch. (I broke this rule on Friday, but I used my "secret cash". More about that later.)
• Only buy gas with a discount (I love Kroger Fuel Points). I spend about $200 per week at Kroger. That is 20 cents off a gallon.  For some reason I don't always fuel up there.
• Only use coupons when the item is also on sale. I think I fall into the trap of buying something because I have a coupon, but it is not actually the best priced item that day.
• Check the pantry. Make a mental note of "don't buy" items.  At one point, I had 5 bags of jasmine rice in the pantry.  That is a lot of rice. I felt compelled to buy it every time I was at the store.  As we speak, I have 2 bottles of hot sauce. One bottle lasts me like 3 months.  Mental note: don't buy any more!
• THINK ABOUT "BIG" PURCHASES FOR AT LEAST 24 HOURS. I made a dollar amount threshold- if it costs more than $25, I am going to think about it for a day before buying it.
• Keep "SECRET CASH".  For me, this is a small amount of cash that I keep in my wallet for cheaper buys that I don't want to use a debit card for- like lunch or coffee. Also useful for items that I don't want to explain to my husband when I quiz him on his purchases. (He has his own secret cash, so don't judge my honesty.) This also helps keep spending in check because you can visualize how much you've already spent.
• Don't go shopping out of boredom. I have wanted to go to Target for absolutely no reason twice this week. I didn't go. Because every time I go, I spend no less than $60.

I hope this works! I will have to check in at the end of the month to let you know!

Working Mom = Less Stress?

I am a full-time working mom. This is a post about being a working mom. There are many posts about SAHMs... but not many (that aren't guilt-ridden) about WMs (might as well join the acronym craze).

This is my day:

• I plead with (or yell at) my children in the mornings to get ready to go because I have to be at work in 20 minutes.

• I compress my workday into exactly 8 hours (eating lunch at my desk) and rush home as soon as I can to make dinner. I do not stop on the way home to shop. I do not take the scenic route. I do not pass GO. I do not collect... okay, you get the point.

• After dinner I try to do something "fun" with the kids. Go for a walk. Go to the pool. Go to the park. Whatever. I want my kids to think I am capable of fun!

• Then, I try to cram in a 30 minute workout video.  BECAUSE, you have to exercise, right? That's what we all say. Usually the kids stand next to me and ask for things: water, juice, cheese sticks, Popsicles, you name it.

• After this, they take a bath and I power-fold two loads of laundry and leave it stacked up all over the place, so that I can shut the water off because they are flooding the bathroom again.

• Then, they get in bed and I read 2-4 books to them (depending on how long it takes them to get ready), and then I lay with them until they go to sleep.

• Finally, at about 9:30 pm, I load the dishwasher and then collapse in my bed.

I honestly don't feel that stressed (only in the mornings!).  I don't feel overwhelmed or exhausted.  This is my life. I have made peace with the chaos.

My whole "personal" life is crammed into the 5 hours I have at home with my family after work.

I hear many stay at home moms say that they are stressed.  I don't understand it, but I've never been a stay at home mom. In my mind, I think it would be great to stay home - you can go to the grocery store at 10 am, go to the park before it gets too hot, drink coffee out of a regular coffee cup instead of a travel mug, wear PJs as long as you want, and watch cartoons all morning (i.e., scroll through Pinterest).  But everything I hear from SAHMs on the internet, through the grapevine, in magazines, etc., is how hard it is to stay home.

Is it possible that my forced work/home schedule actually reduces my stress? I am forced to move along at a certain pace until all the "things" are done... because if I don't, the "things" don't get done.

Perhaps when you stay at home all day, the day stretches out ahead of you like it will never end. And because it will never end, nothing ever HAS to get done.

Maybe the very thing that I used to feel guilty about - leaving my kids for 8 hours a day - is actually a blessing in disguise. Has it taught me to enjoy the moment? Has it kept me from wasting time? I think so.  And now that I have realized this, I will keep enjoying the moment and I am more determined not to stress.  I will take one moment at a time.